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What is a Soul Contract?

Updated: May 15

When trying to lean into the spiritual flow, you hear a lot of information. This can be hard to sift through, especially these days when everyone and their mom is writing about it on the internet. Today we are going to talk about a piece that is very important not only to me but something that should be important to everyone. What is a soul contract?

A contract is made between two souls when we need something accomplished that requires the help of another soul. This typically is in the form of a lesson. Usually when we enter into an earthly contract here on the physical plane, it is something we want to do. Like buying a house, signing a business agreement, or accepting a job. However, when we enter into soul contracts with other beings or souls, it is in the form of a lesson, and you are either teaching the other soul a valuable (and usually difficult) lesson or they are teaching you.

If you use me as an example, most of my most difficult lessons in this lifetime were all agreed to before my incarnation here on earth. I’ve suffered excruciating emotional traumas and hurt at the hands of others. My entire existence, since I was 11 to about 30 years old was nothing short of painful. I elected, however, to get most of that out of the way at once.

The best example my guide keep showing me is my ex-husband. He was nothing more than cruel at times. Not everything was a nightmare but by the middle of our time together I was very afraid of him. He would hurt me at any chance he could get. He would say terribly mean things to me, call me ugly, make fun of my features I already didn’t like about myself. He would point out that my forehead was too big, or I was too skinny. That my toes were messed up, or that my face would break out. I couldn’t get over that I was too skinny. I was so depressed, I couldn’t eat, and he was literally one of the skinniest dudes I’d ever seen. I smoked cigarettes then, and they were (aside from my animals) the only comforts I knew in life. I found that super sad, the poison I was inhaling to catch a break was the only thing I looked forward to. I remember once we were visiting his family and he was being so nasty to me, I had tuned it out and become numb only to realize HIS sister was in the other room crying because she felt so bad for me.

Then there was the physical abuse. I got thrown down stair sets, choke slammed to the kitchen floor, and once attacked over taking my birth control. I wasn’t allowed to travel, I had to be home when he was, or I was called a whore even if I was at the grocery store buying food for him to keep him from going off on me for “not doing my job”. Which was comical because I had a full-time career of my own that made more money than he did.

All of that broke me, I tried to give up several times but God/Universe whatever you want to call him wouldn’t let me go “home”. I wanted desperately to end my life multiple times, but it just wouldn’t happen.

I left. It took a lot, but I left thank God. My sister helped me and that’s when I realized I was in several soul contracts. One with him and one with her. She came to stay with me after college. I thought it was a good idea because if he was around any of my family he never acted like that. It had gotten worse when my dad died though. She was only supposed to stay around three months and it gave her a super cheap room to rent. We had started noticing that his drinking was out of hand, and we suspected he was doing harder drugs. He worked in a restaurant, and they were plenty available so we decided it was time and I told him to leave after he couldn’t contain himself anymore and threw an extremely heavy plate at my then 22-year old sister.

Soul Contract Design

In the end of course we had to leave, in a hurry one day when he was at work after a night when six cop cars ended up at our house because he stole my wallet and phone and left after almost running me over in the driveway.

My sister saved me. Her contract was to come stay with me to get me out. I wouldn’t have had the courage until I saw him almost hurt her. Her contract was to learn that no relationship is worth that sort of abuse and aggression. That if a man lays hands on you it's time to go. But I won more than she did, I was free, I got to leave, and I did it before he killed me or one of my animals. My guides spoke up several times after an intense death / rebirth cycle telling me to go but I was too scared. My sister’s contract was what saved me that time, but I learned to trust my guides also.

My contract with him was about self-worth. It was about standing up for myself and moving intelligently. It was about SELF LOVE. I didn’t need a guy to love me to feel love. It was about learning to trust myself.

The first night my sister and I were in our new rental house away from him, I slept better than I had in years. Since I was a kid in our parent’s house really. I was safe. My life has improved like watching a firework go off. I went from 80 pounds to 120 pounds. You couldn’t see my bones protruding through my skin anymore. My face cleared up and I could smile again. My clothes fit and that alone made me feel better. I was free to leave when I wanted. I was free to travel, see my friends (not that many were left at that point). But I was free, and I am living. I am awake.

It was the most painful, stressful, and the darkest situation of my life. But I fulfilled my contract to him and he to I. I learned how to heal, and how to live on my own terms. I taught him that when you bend someone to the point of breaking, they do actually break. I taught him not to break anyone else or he will live alone and miserable for the rest of his life.

So know this, most of our darkest and hardest times given to us at the hands of someone else, is most often a lesson. One our souls agreed to in order to move forward in our spiritual journeys. They help us to evolve in only a way that we could having gone through this experience. Every soul goes through different lessons based on their mission here on earth. That was just one of mine, but it helps me to learn many things in order to help others. I hope this makes it clearer for anyone wondering what a soul contract is and why they are so very important. Examine your life an try to identify your soul contracts.

<3 Tori Rae

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